Convincing myself this isn't a suicide mission, that It is worth the try. Good Luck!

Guns & Grace

Ever thought of if one day you were left stranded on an island living hopelessly?

I've read a book recently, and here's a story that the writer wrote to illustrate how the grace of God can not only save us, but also help us live an extraordinary life! (I'll try to cut it as short as possible.)

There's this sailor who one day was involved in a ship wreck and was left stranded on an isolated island. There was no one on the island, he had no food and shelter. He tried catching fish using his hand made spear, but failed. He tried climbing trees to get its fruit, but ended up only with bruises on his arms and legs. As a last resort for food, he chased wild deer and boar and attempted to kill them with large stones but failed. During the night, he heard wild animals stalking him. Desperate for survival, he found a huge boulder and climb on top of it, avoiding any chances that he would get attack by wild animals. He spend his night on the boulder, cold and shivering. He felt relatively safe, but also imprisoned. Feeling exhausted and depressed, up to this point, he felt hopeless, thinking that he would either die of starvation or being mauled by a wild animal.

The next morning, a man appeared out of nowhere in front of the sailor. He told the sailor that he was a messenger sent by his master from the future to help him, and told the sailor that in 3 months time, a ship is going to pass by the island. To get the attention of the ship that would be passing by, the messenger took out a gun. The sailor haven't seen a gun before as it wasn't invented yet. To demonstrate on how to use the gun, the messenger loaded the gun with bullets and pulled the trigger which produce a loud noise. Excited, the sailor received the gun and a box of bullets. However, having mixed emotions, even though the sailor was given a way out of the island, how can he survive in the island for the next 3 months when he struggled to find food and shelter.

"There's more!" said the messenger. You can use the gun to shoot down fruits from trees, kill deers and fishes for food, protect yourselves from wild animals and use animals skin for shelter and to blanket yourself during the night. At this point, the sailor is overwhelmed with gratefulness. Suddenly a thought came to his mind and he curiously ask, "messenger, what do i need to give you in return for the gun?"

With a smile, the messenger replied, "I know you have no money, and even if you did, repayment is not the reason why I've done this for you. My master saw your sufferings through the time machine and decided provide me with this gun to give you. I had the joy of delivering his gift."

In the end, the gun not only spared his life, but also comfortably sustain him for the next 3 months on the island. He is saved!

The grace of God not only saves us, but also provides us the power to live an extraordinary life!

You're still here

God, I know You're here, I always do. But the battle in my head is really killing me. I know what I've been doing, seeking out for You, Your Kingdom, Your wisdom, Your understanding. Again, I know Lord You are here with me, for my head has been toying with me. Came the day when You rocked my heart, and transform my views and sight and turn it upright, I was sure You were in work. I was broke, and mould. As time pass, I had doubt. God, I know You're still here, You never forsake me. I had doubt, whether it is You who is working, or is it due to my suppressed feeling, running away from something and taking You Lord as my personal "pain-killer". I know, You're still here, You're always here, and I know its You. =')

Facebook

Facebook - Source of unwanted sin. I knew I shouldn't have reactivate back my facebook. The second i reactivate it back, i can see the same old person I'm trying to convince I'm all good sincerely not buying me, getting me all fired up. Yes, YOU! FRIEND. I've been praying for you, hoping you would one day get save and you talk about me with venom in every words. Do you know how hard it is to fight that barrier you're applying on to show you, to help you? YOU ARE NEVER GONNA CHANGE.

Look at me, I'm 20, in a blink of an eye I will be 21 next year. As far as I have faith that God has a plan for me in the future, deep down inside, I have fear. Things change. There are lots of things you need to be worry about in the future. Aside from studies in university, there's job, working. I've come to realize and conclude that I have only 30% of interest on the course I'm currently taking. I have to think of the prospect of working somewhere far from home, somewhere unknown to me. But i expect a decent more than average salary for my job as an engineer (my only motivation to study right now). Before I climb the steps into university, there is no way I will consider working in church as a job. Miraculously, God changed my views. Serving Him can be joyful. Then there's relationships. Need more I say? Things like these can cause a tug-of-war between sides of your heart. I need a resolution. An affirmation. A confirmation. No one knows what God has plan for me, It is beyond prediction.

Only Hope

There's this show, which my friend have asked me to watch since long time ago, but I couldn't be bothered by it because the title is sooo boring. Huh, that ultimately change one day when i was bored and the show was in my laptop that I decided to watch it. It blew my mind! The show was epic. A mix of blissful love and complete sadness that i drop tears during the show. It was overwhelming! A couple of awesome shows had came out this year of 2011 but I rate this 2002 movie on my top list. A walk to remember =)) And this song in the show, couldn't get it outta my mind!! I could watch it over and over again!

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Okay. Football is overrated! Don't get me wrong, I love football, but what I can't stand is players getting paid like thousands for playing every week! What have they done actually? Sure they do make people happy by playing for their supported club and country, but what do they deserve to get paid like that!? Football players, everyone loves them, everyone worships them, do you know, of all the people in the world, footballers (especially the famous ones) are the ones leading bad examples to today's people. They club at night, they drink and worst of all, they ask for sex from every girl they see in the bar! (Yes, even some of those who were married). Some of the world's most famous footballer, paid thousands like nothing for sex. They're a bunch of lost individuals, lost in the midst of their fame and fortune. For once, I totally agree with my secondary headmaster's statement, "Why do footballer's get paid so high for PLAYING while teachers, the ones who educate the future of the country will never get paid as high as those footballers!" These days, footballers are unpleasant, self-obsessed and they basically don't care whats happening around the world! Again, not all footballers are like that, just that in my opinion, black is darker than white. So, in conjunction with my 2nd semester of university life, I'm gonna organise a campaign called, "FOOTBALL IS OVERRATED!". Joking though, I'm gonna stop watching football and reading news about football, cutting less time online.